Cheaper By the Dozen
by Emilia Ann
Summary: Damon and Elena have their hands full with twelve children, each of them uniquely different. Minor Language/Very Slightly OOC
1. Introduction

**A/N: I know that it has been…forever since I have updated any of my stories, but I decided that I needed a fresh start with Fanfiction. I left Life in the Shuester House alone due to it primarily being my friend's story. To start off the "reborn life" on here, I decided to throw together a story similar to that of Life in the Shuester House; Damon and Elena have their hands full with kids. I will try my absolute best to explain, but otherwise, it may be slightly OOC due to them having children.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I created. All rights belong to their rightful owners.**

**Here is the Intro!**

* * *

**Introduction**

* * *

Twenty-four years of marriage, holding each other tight, whispering sweet nothings into the other's ear, passionate nights, six on-the-whim trips, and countless speeding tickets for rushing to the hospital, the brunette before him looked stunning, even as she did her routine cardio workouts. She would occasionally glance up to catch him gawking at her, and smirk mischievously before continuing.

The house remained bizarrely silent, except for the hum of the heater and the tinny voice of the exercise instructor through the speakers. He glanced warily at the clock, dreading the second it chimed two-thirty; the time when all hell breaks loose. Rubbing his temples the tell-tale signs of an oncoming headache overcame him.

She bit her bottom lip when a slight burning sensation ran through her calves. Moaning out in slight pain, she collapsed to the ground to rest and stretched forward to switch off of the DVD player. Her upper spine cracked slightly as she rolled her hand in a circular motion, gaining his attention once again.

"What time is it?" She breathed out, the breath momentarily taken out of her.

His eyes darted anywhere but at the face of the clock, "Almost 2:25."

She nodded, rubbing the back of her calves to relieve the pain. For a 38-year-old, her body was holding up fairly well; muscles still taught and her stomach still lean and flat. Not to gloat, but she was damn proud of her body. Damon seemed to agree as well.

He stood to his feet, quietly walking into the kitchen and grabbing a blood bag. He was going to need it if he somehow managed to survive to the end of the night.

Just as his fangs sunk into the plastic of the bag the door burst open before slamming shut. The thudding of footsteps against the wooden flooring in the entryway indicated that a certain someone had arrived home. Their footfalls fell short before there was an equally loud thud of a backpack hitting the area that was assigned as the drop-off for backpacks, followed by an overdramatized sigh.

"I'm hooome!" Her voice reverberated throughout the house, smacking Damon across the face. There goes his time of serenity. He rolled his eyes as she walked into the parlor, excitedly squealing before wrapping Elena into a hug.

"Mom, you're home!" She exclaimed, squeezing tighter.

Elena smiled, returning the hug, "I missed you, honeybunch."

The teen laughed, "Missed you, too. How was your trip," She paused, unlatching from her mother, "Did you bring me anything?" Her brown eyes grew wide, bottom lip jutting out slightly.

"Oh, Kara, my little money-eyes," She broke out into a bright smile, "Of course I did. I brought everyone something."

Kara's smile faltered, "Everyone?" She sighed, crossing her arms in a defiant manner, "I thought you loved me." She stormed up to her room, slamming her feet against each wooden step to emphasize her anger. Elena sighed, flopping onto the couch in exhaustion.

"That girl needs to learn how to _share_." Damon muttered, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the doorway.

She stuck her tongue out, "She's only acting like any other fifteen-year-old." He shrugged his shoulders, warily glancing to the clock once again. Damn, he thought, here comes the stampede.

The door burst open, not shutting until the last child stepped through. Tabitha, with her raven pixie hair, led the pack, purse slung on her shoulder. She smiled brightly, kissing her father on the cheek.

"Hey, Dad," She laughed when he made a face, her laugh like a silvery bell. A line seemed to have formed; Kristine, brown-eyed and caring, Elizabeth, one of a handful of wild children, and Grayson, cocky smile playing on his lips. After giving each of his daughters a hug, and a fist pound to Grayson, he leaned back against the doorway, watching silently as Mia, the ever-so-silent, young one quietly gave her mother a hug before slipping outside, completely ignoring her father.

Damon could not understand for the life of him what he had done to the poor thing. He felt horrible, coming to the conclusion that he had neglected her somewhere along the way in her early childhood. It's difficult to evenly fan out attention to all of the children evenly. He sighed, walking towards the foyer to shut the ajar door.

He turned back around, momentarily seeing a flash of something upstairs. "What the hell?" He filed through his memories, trying to remember when any of the children had darted upstairs, but came up empty-handed. Sighing heavily, he sped upstairs, another flash blinding him temporarily.

He rubbed his eyes, walking towards the source of the flash. His hands twisted the golden doorknob before pushing it open. There on the computer, as always, was the antisocial dark-haired fourteen-year-old. Damon crossed his arms, sick of seeing his son on the machine day after day.

"What the hell are you doing?" He hissed, eyes narrowed.

He glanced up, chocolate brown eyes saucer-wide and hazed, "Nothing." He turned back to the screen, another flash from a playing video emitted into the room. It never ceased to amaze Damon how Logan was Tabitha's twin, yet they were nothing alike. She had blue eyes, he had brown.

Damon sped towards the back of the computer, tearing out the cords. "You're going to go blind if you keep doing this, Logan."

The teen shot up out of his seat, lunging towards his father, "You bastard! Don't touch my stuff!" Damon shoved him away. He couldn't help but admire how Logan had his short temper. Before he could talk to his son to try to amend the situation, he stormed off, leaving his father dumbfounded.

"Damn teenagers," He breathed out, feeling the headache reaching a brink.

"Daddy!" A young child's scream reverberated around the home, "Daddy, help me!"

His head snapped up, suddenly alert. Speeding downstairs, he was met with the sight of his youngest daughter fighting with her older brother. Forced into each of their hands was the remote to the television, looking as if it might just break into two. Blaring out the speakers was the theme to _Dragon Tales_, and immediately, Damon understood why his son, Alex, would want to tear the remote away from his sister.

"Kailyn, give the remote to him," He gently ordered, eyes narrowed for emphasis. She looked shell-shocked. Her grip on the remote loosened just enough for Alex to snatch it away and flip to the sports channel.

She kept staring towards the remote before her gaze latched onto her father's face. Tears pooled at the base of her innocent, blue eyes, automatically earning herself a softening of Damon's eyes. Ever since he held a newly born Kara in his arms his heart had grown to accustom each child, enlarging the softer side of his emotions.

"Daddy," She whispered brokenly before her bottom lip jutted out. He could already hear the sobs even without her making any further noises. Before she could begin, he wrapped her in his arms, stroking her hair.

"Don't cry. I'm sorry. You can watch Dragon Tales in Kara's room," He whispered pleadingly, knowing Kara would throw a hissy fit if she found out. She nodded against his chest before breaking away and rushing upstairs.

Exhausted and defeated, he flopped onto the couch, not wanting to deal with any more children.


	2. Play On Words

**Chapter One:**

**Play on Words**

* * *

Kara strolled outside, cellphone pressed to her ear as her cousin, Serafina babble on about how the cutest boy in school had "totally smiled" at her during lunch. She took a seat on one of the benches out back by the furthest garden wall, ignoring her younger siblings as they examined the insects beneath rocks.

"Fina, I've got to go," She cut her off, wishing to not hear any more. There was no reply as she ended the call, leaning against the back of the bench to enjoy the fresh winter breeze. She loved this home, even if it did get cramped after kid number twelve was born.

Her eyes snapped to the said sibling, her eyes narrowing into a glare. Her father never favored his eldest children anymore. After they hit the thirteen year mark he practically turned their backs on them. Yet, he shockingly to a liking to Tabitha. Tabby, she thought, the crazily smart one of the family; how could he like her over me? !

Her eyes turned to stone when Tabitha slipped outside to join Mia and Kristine in their scavenge for interesting insects. She knelt down, smiling as Kristine glanced up.

"Look," Mia laughed, pointing to a worm popping up from the earth. Kristine grabbed the worm, not showing any emotions of disgust. She loved nature _too_ much. Dropping the worm into Tabitha's lap, she watched her face, waiting to see if she would recoil in revulsion. She astonishingly didn't; only did she laugh.

"Girls, dinnertime!" Elena called, head popping out through the space in the door. All four jumped to their feet, abandoning the worm on the ground before rushing inside.

Breakfast and dinner: the most hectic times of the day. Rushing here and there and everywhere.

Mia smiled to her mother, who returned the gesture by planting a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. She immediately recoiled when her father walked into the room, stepping behind her brother.

Grayson glanced down to her, eying her curiously before setting out to get the best pieces of steak before they were taken. He jabbed his fork at Alex's hand when he went to grab his choice of meat, "No touching my dinner."

Alex shook his head before grabbing a burger and walking towards the table.

* * *

Amelia shuffled into the home for the first time that day somewhere between saying grace and passing around the mashed potatoes. Damon glanced up, fork stopped mid-way to his mouth, "Eh, Kristine, what took you-"

She raised her hand up, cutting him off, "Stop there. I'm Amelia _not _Miss Goodie-two-shoes," and walking towards the island to grab a plate for herself. Damon glanced towards Kristine, her head hung low as she played with her peas. He always mixed them up, and felt horrible for it.

The twins were far used to it by now, for it had been happening since their similarities in physical features really started to kick in at three. Amelia took a seat beside Aiden and Brandon, who had both magically appeared, at least it seemed to be that way to Damon, sometime ago.

The rest of dinner was spent in silence.

* * *

"Wanna play some Black Ops?"

Kailyn glanced up from her picture book, eyes looking tired. Her eyes blinked to the television screen, seeing that he was not joking. She placed the book on her lap, "You do know that I'm a girl?"

He nodded hesitantly, "Yeah, so?"

"So...girls aren't supposed to play that stuff." She finished with a huff before resuming reading her book.

Aiden sighed, wishing he could sneak out and walk over the baseball diamond across town. A shadow passed by the doorway, gaining his attention. "Hey!" He called out, hoping they would stop and listen to him.

Luckily, the person stopped and stuck their head in, "What?"

Great, Logan should want to play, he thought with a triumphant smirk. There was no way he was going to play this game alone. "Wanna play Black Ops with me?"

Logan's eyebrows knit together in perplexity before he mulled it over. With science homework due tomorrow he wouldn't have the time to mess around with his brother. "Nah," He answered simply before disappearing upstairs.

Aiden growled and threw his remote to the ground, "God, I _hate_ this family!"

Elena rushed into the room, hands on her hips, "You know better than to go around saying things like that." He nodded, head hung low before marching upstairs to his room.

Kailyn smirked, watching her mother and brother depart to separate areas of the house. Boys, she thought with a roll of the eyes.

* * *

The blonde before her threw her hands into the air in excitement before running towards her, "Tabby, I've missed you!"

Tabitha rolled her eyes, "I saw you yesterday, Teagan." The blonde blushed furiously before dragging her friend towards the concession stand.

She felt evil for sneaking out without her father's permission. Sooner or later he would discover that she was missing; her mother would have a panic attack, just like she always did whenever Kara used to sneak out. Kara eventually gave up and began asking for permission in fear of giving her mother a heart attack.

In the far corner was the group of boys we had snuck out to see. She nearly squealed when she saw his face, darting into his arms. "Hey, Jasper," She mumbled into his shirt.

He chuckled, glancing towards his friends with a knowing look, "Hey, Tabby."

She pulled back, secretly feeling his pockets for any little gifts. A frown etched into her features when she came up empty-handed. The questions popped into her head, "You do know what today is, right?"

His smile faltered, quietly muttering an excuse to his friends to get them to leave the two alone. He walked them towards a secluded bench near the Ferris wheel. She snuggled in closer to his side, only to have him scoot further away.

"Listen, Tabitha," She was immediately crushed when he used her full name, knowing that this would not be a good conversation, "We need to talk."

Her eyes began to burn, all smiles wiped clear from her face, knowing those words like the back of her hand, "What's the excuse this time?" Her voice remained neutral, eyes turning to stone. Scooting farther away from him, she looked at anywhere but him. This situation was far too familiar.

He sighed, "There's someone else."

Her face twisted in anger, "Someone else? !" She shut her eyes to calm herself as not to cause a scene, "Just...just leave me alone."

Without another word he stood up and walked back towards his friends and a chatterbox Teagan. She was devastated; this was far more humiliating than the time he had broken up with her for the football season. Kara was right, older guys suck. She never should have dated a guy that was a year older than her.

* * *

By the time she had arrived back home, the clock had long ago struck one in the morning. Forced to walk home alone, she had been confronted by a homeless man, trying to get some money from her. She had refused before he got violent. A passing-by man had saved her, sparing her any more scratches.

She felt absolutely broken after this night from hell. Glancing in the mirror in the foyer, she could see that the scratch across her right cheekbone was slightly bleeding. She dabbed the wound with the sleeve of her shirt as she kicked off her boots. All I need to do is sleep it off, she thought.

The house was dark, except for the light illuminating from beneath Kara's door, though she never fell asleep until three. Sighing, she gripped the banister, only to almost have a heart attack.

The light in the parlor flicked on, "Where were you?"

She spun on her heel, facing her inevitable doom as she walked towards her father. Once she saw his face, angry yet showing creases of worry, she broke down. Her body was wracked with sobs, catching her father off-guard.

He sped towards her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her head to his chest, "Shhh, no need to cry, no need." He picked her up as if she were three once again and settled on the couch, rocking her back and forth as he hummed her a tune. The sobs eventually fell short and she was lulled her into the world of darkness.

He glanced down warily, wanting to know what, or who, made his little girl cry. He felt the urge to destroy the source immediately as he continued to rock her until he too fell asleep.

A set of bright blue eyes watched from the staircase, tears pooling at the base of her eyes. _He never does that for me. He doesn't love me._

* * *

Elizabeth stumbled downstairs, sleep still evident in her features. Her wild raven hair cascaded down her back, accenting her blue eyes flawlessly. Step by step she grew more exhausted. It wasn't until someone poked her in the back that she realized she had fallen asleep while standing.

She glared over her shoulder towards a forever-frowning Logan.

"Good morning!" Kristine greeted happily behind Logan, a bright smile placed upon her face.

Elizabeth snickered, "Cut it out, shorty. It's too early for you to be yourself, so just pretend to be someone normal for today. Got it?" The smaller girl nodded, smile long ago thrown away. Logan sighed before stepping around her to get to the table in time for breakfast. The two girls followed suit, not wanting to be left out of the morning feast.

Damon arose from bed late, as per usual. All of the kids were gathered at the table, chatting loudly with one another, with the exception of Logan and Tabitha who kept to themselves for the entirety of the meal. He flashed a faux smile towards Elena before sitting down at the head of the table.

He didn't feel in the mood for human food. Mia wasn't able to stifle the giggle that fell from her lips when she saw him rest his head directly on the table, getting the tips of his hair into the puddle of syrup. He glanced up towards her in surprise, smiling when she continued to giggle. Well, that's a step forward, he thought.

Elena excused herself, having to prepare for work at Mystic Falls Elementary. Damon had insisted that she need not work due to them being financially stable for the rest of eternity, thanks to his handsome inheritance and his Swiss bank account which he set up in the 1930s. She had refused to listen to him, going to the school to obtain an application. Of course, the principal accepted it.

After getting uncomfortable with her father's smile directed towards her, Mia picked up her plate and placed it into the sink before following Kristine upstairs to get dressed for school. Damon laid there, watching as each of his kids finished up and went to get ready.

It never hit him until the very next day that he realized school had ended.

* * *

His eyes darted to the clock on the wall, slowly ticking away. He sighed, thinking their alarms had not gone off. Even Elena had not trotted downstairs to prepare breakfast. He had been sitting at the table for nearly an hour, waiting for her to wake up so they could begin breakfast.

With a drawn-out huff, he sped upstairs. Going down the line of doors, he banged his fist on each one, until he reached the bedroom he shared with his wife. He peeked his head in to softly exclaim, "Elena, wake up!"

She stirred before settling back into a deep slumber. He rolled his eyes, knowing how stubborn his wife could be. He gripped the sheets before pulling them off of the bed, effectively waking her up.

"What?" She asked, still exhausted.

He answered simply, "School."

She yawned, eyes narrowed, "Damon, there is no school. It ended yesterday." And with that, she snuggled into the pillow to fall back asleep.

A look of horror overcame his features. "No..." He hissed, turning back around towards the open door to find his kids in their pajamas, cranky for being woken up during their first day of summer break.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Amelia bellowed.

Aiden rolled his eyes before huffing loudly, "God, I hate this family," before storming back into the room he shared with Brandon, who had gone back to bed after seeing everyone gathered in the hall. He never liked family gatherings.

Damon's eyes skimmed across each of the remaining children's faces, who seemed either pissed off or half-asleep. Elizabeth had fallen asleep in the spot she stood in before Amelia nudged her awake, instructing her to go back into their room. The others followed suit, Kara giving him a dirty glare for interrupting her slumber.

To say he felt like the worst dad in the world would be the understatement of the year.


End file.
